The Only Thing I Really Hate About Valentine’s Day
I think it is really annoying when people complain about how much they hate Valentine’s Day or hate people who love it. I think the cynicism and snark simply betray how badly most of those people just wish they were having a traditional Valentine’s Day. It’s transparent.
But let me provide one caveat, something I hate the most in the world: grocery store flowers. Flowers are beautiful, gorgeous, natural things that die in a week and remind you of your own mortality (I’m not kidding, I think this is really cool). I hate plants that don’t blossom and fake flowers because I think they have bad feng shui. But by far the worst imposter is the grocery store flower. Grocery store flowers are just so sad. You know they are there to be convenient for people to give flowers but the grocers don’t know how to take care of them and they are wilty and half dead by the time you get home. They are the why bother of Valentines gifts.
If you get grocery store flowers you know two things: someone cares enough about you to give you flowers, but not enough to get you real flowers. Maybe its a well-meaning boyfriend that doesn’t know the difference, but just… how do you not look at them and realize they are depressing looking as far as flowers go? There’s also the fact that like, you are trying to show someone you care about them. You can’t possibly think a grocery store is the best place to buy an emotionally significant gift. The most emotionally significant thing I’ve ever bought at a grocery store is a pregnancy test. Be in a relationship. Be single. But, either way, don’t phone it in.
Time to end the fallacy that it’s the thought that counts so criticizing a gift is off-limits. It’s not the thought, it’s the effort. I think about world peace all the time. Guess what? Bombs still be droppin.
