How to Determine if You are Crazy

Get a piece of paper and mark down your answers. We will help you determine if you are crazy in just a few short minutes! 

Question 1: Within your local community (could be a “scene” or your professional setting), you are:
a) relatively unknown and insignificant
b) appreciated for what you offer and liked by your peers
c) totally fucking famous, right?

Question 2: How much do the people in your life love you?
a) idk :-/
b) I think I am appreciated by the people who are close to me
c) probably they would die without me duh

Question 3: Have you ever faked a health issue in order to avoid responsibility for something you’ve done wrong in an interpersonal relationship?
a) I feel way more comfortable taking responsibility for things I’ve done wrong than ever telling a lie
b) I have said I didn’t feel well to get out of a date with someone when I knew I wasn’t interested
c) I’m sorry I cheated on you but I’ve just been in a really bad headspace since I got these test results back and I really hope you’ll forgive me and come over and make love to me because I might have cancer

Question 4: Have you ever faked a health issue in order to avoid responsibility for something you’ve done wrong in a professional setting?
a) I feel way more comfortable taking responsibility for things I’ve done wrong than ever defying authority 
b) I’ve called in sick before when I’m hung over, which is theoretically a legitimate illness
c) I have a rancid hormone imbalance which causes memory loss and social anxiety, and on top of that I have mono so that’s why I haven’t come in for three weeks

Questions 5: The most impulsive thing you’ve done is:
a) hit snooze and not showered before work because you were up too late consoling your sister about her husband filing for divorce
b) charged an expensive piece of jewelry that you love but kept you from going out to eat for a month
c) had unprotected sex with your platonic friend and that person’s significant other after ingesting an unidentified pill and buying a round of shots for every person in the bar

Results:

If you answered mostly As…
You’re kind of a lil bitch. Grow a pair (of balls or ovaries, I don’t discriminate), grow up a lil, and try not to be so inhibited all the damn time.  

If you answered mostly Bs…
You seem normal. Good job. Unfortunately for you people you date who are themselves crazy will probably still call you insane and hysterical.

If you answered mostly Cs…
You are crazy as shit. Worried about your crazy, narcissistic tendencies. But you’re probably pretty fun at parties.