Other Things Susan G. Komen Should Stop Being Involved In If It Cares About Life So Much
Buckets for the Cure. Hey guess what… let’s end cancer and kill ourselves in the process! A bucket of KFC has like a day’s worth of calories and probably enough cholesterol to solidify the teenie tiniest of veins (I majored in the humanities not science ok gimme a break). If you love life, Susan G. Komen, probably stop branding yourself along side the nutritional equivalent of sunbathing on a tin roof. At Chernobyl.
Suing other “…for the Cure” movements. For example (and there are lots of them) Susie G successfully used its trademark power to ban an anti-lung cancer organization called “Kites for the Cure” from using that name. Oh cool, cuz we all know name recognition is more important than people staying alive. And you know, god forbid another anti-cancer organization capitalize on your anti-cancer organization… except that whole “capitalize” word is really the problem, i$n’t it?
Sporting events. Susan G. Komen sponsors all kinds of sporting events where the athletes wear pink shoes/cleats. They are made out of leather. Leather is made out of dead animals. To get leather from a dead animal you have to kill it. Killing is the opposite of life. While we’re at it, those KFC chickens were killed too (provided we can actually establish that they are in fact biologically birds and not laboratory foam).
The BMW campaign. There’s some deal where if you test-drive a BMW, the company gives a buck to kill breast cancer. Car exhaust causes pollution which has been linked to breast cancer and also all other kinds of cancer and the environment dies and the ozone layer falls apart and etc etc.
Yes, Planned Parenthood is in some ways associated with abortions. BUT THEY ALSO DO BREAST CANCER SCREENINGS. FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO COULDN’T AFFORD THEM OTHERWISE AND/OR WOULDN’T OTHERWISE KNOW HOW TO ACCESS THEM. If they are truly committed to respecting life at all costs, even by implication, they probably need to just close up shop.
