January 2012
78 posts
December 2011
29 posts
11 tags
2011 in Music
I keep a playlist of my most listened to song each month:
January: I’m Looking Through You- The Wallflowers
I’m very superstitious about New Years. You have to clean your entire house, pay all your bills and make sure all your relationships are good before the new year, or all that junk karma will be with you for the whole next year. New Year’s Eve has to be bomb too, it sets...
7 tags
The Top 10 Dramz of 2011 (A phiLOLZophy Year End...
10. Osama, Other Bad Guys Bite the Big One. Seems like a bleak year to be a fascist boss bitch a-hole. Osama bin Laden, Muammar Gaddafi, and Kim Jong-il all died which sucks for them but is pretty sweet for the rest of the world. Score one for the good guys.
9. Joe Paterno Goes Down :(. Bros that love football are so lovable and stupid. It’s easy to believe that they enjoy things like...
Anonymous asked: Waiting for you guys to comment on the whole Marie Calloway/Adrien Brody thing.
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On Being Called 'Smart'
Sometimes in an attempt to flatter me, people—guys who I’m dating, especially—will call me smart. I don’t really get it. It’s like they’re telling me the sky is blue. I’m smart. I know I am. I’m not Einstein and I don’t get to be in the CIA and no one is letting me operate on them so it’s not really a big deal.
I’m not saying...
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What Your Favorite Christmas Activity Says About...
Decorating. If decorating is your favorite thing about Christmas you are an icy twee bitch that has scrapbooks and a Flickr full of happy family memories without actually having a happy family. You probably got married at 23 because you were sure having a young family would make you happy. A few kids, a mortgage, and several sexless years later you aren’t so sure. Bragging about your...
PhiLOLZophy Giveaway -- Mission Impossible Edition
If you’ve been following this blog for awhile you know how we feel about shoes.
The next installment of Mission Impossible (in this case entitled Ghost Protocol, incidentally) comes out this week, and footwear company Giorgio Brutini is featured in the film.
We approve — these shoes are bangable. And we have a special offer exclusively for our Tumblr followers. If you want to...
1 tag
The Pros and Cons of Throwing Your Degree Away to...
You guys, I have a degree, can I just please be a Planet Beach employee?
Pro:
-Everyone is happy, all the time. You might even get to be happy all day too. -Get to listen and dance to top 40 radio all day. -You probably actually like and talk to your co-workers. -Work meetings are about how to look bronzer or what cool new diet pills you’ll carry or how drunk you got last night. -Get to...
Today I went to lunch with my family because it was my brother’s birthday and I love my family a lot.
After lunch my dad asked if he could stop by my apartment quick and give me something.
“Sure,” I thought, cringing a little at the thought that it was some unpredicted debt collection notice or request for donations from my bullshit Christian college.
Instead it was a...
Pros and Cons of Kim Jong-il Dying
Pros:
Yay America! We could use a W!
People on Facebook will stop talking about getting Hitchens tattoos
Probably people won’t hold ignorant riots in the downtown of major cities over this one
Hopefully there will be some kind of official K-pop tribute concert
The world could always use one less dickhead
Get to feel like I’m on top of ‘hot news items’ cuz I was the...
In Response to Anonymous Commenter
The other day on Tumblr an anonymous follower called me/us (well, me, I wrote the post, but we feel criticism jointly; look at this comment section if you don’t agree) a “hateful bitch” and a “twenty-something crybaby”, which aren’t like bizarrely unfamiliar things to be accused of considering the whole canon of negative comments we’ve received, but is...
unrealityhouse asked: Is it ethically preferable to be the single person with whom the coupled person cheats, versus being the coupled person who does the cheating? (Will)
Anonymous asked: How do I tell my best friend I love her without ruining everything?
Get the Fuck Over Popular Music Already
So you’ve seen this, right? I’m not sure who hasn’t; I think like 10% of my Facebook friends reposted it with some kinda caption like “OmgggGGGGggggggg!!!!! S00000 TRUE!”
Essentially the premise of this article is to outline the successes of popular music artists such as Rihanna, Creed, and Katy Perry and explain how bizarre and unjustified it is that these artists...
How it Feels to End a Relationship. Like REALLY...
It feels like getting kicked in the stomach. It’s like the wind is knocked out of you and your whole body aches and you think if you just lay in bed long enough it’ll go away but it doesn’t go away. The not-moving of the rest of your body just makes it so obvious that one part really, really hurts and you can hardly breathe and you feel sick to your stomach but not in the way...
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Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger
Everyone’s life is hard. This seems obvious but for a long, long time I thought I was the only one. I thought the other girls in high school were losing their virginity on the the 50 yard line to the quarterback. I lost my virginity while I was blacked out, there was nothing special or romantic about it. I had to convince my best friend “I don’t think it was rape.” I am bad...
I Want to Say Nice Things to You
You are a Human Being. You do human things like get sick and sleep with your ex-girlfriend because you are lonely. It’s okay. Humans are animals. They do imperfect things to feed their needs. Jesus would do it if he wasn’t all confident because he knew he was The Messiah and everything. You aren’t perfect, you don’t deserve me to love me the way I do. But you’re...
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Live-Blogging My Existential Crisis
First of all, this is existential crisis, like, 27. Shouldn’t I be a bit more stable by now? I always think about that Rolling Stones song 19th Nervous Breakdown because the protagonist thinks she’s cool probably, but she’s just a boring girl that puts too much pressure on herself to create drama and escape her mundane life. So, probably, existential crisis are a sign of...
Cool Things About Modern Technology That Make it...
You can block them on Gchat. Spend 75% of your waking hours nervously wondering why they aren’t initiating contact with you on Gchat or why they aren’t responding verbosely or whether their “busy” status is legit? Simple solution — block them! If you don’t exist on Gchat, you barely exist at all.
You can send them to voicemail. Thank god you don’t have...
Anonymous asked: I can't determine whether you're male or female. GenderAnalyzer thinks you'r a woman (with 68% certainty). Care to resolve the question?
Things I Liked About You Which are Worth Saying...
I liked that you were a gentleman. Maybe you didn’t understand how to meet my needs but you were always polite and very respectful. You pulled out chairs and opened doors and didn’t really say offensive or perverse things in front of me and you always paid for things which I am not praising because it was like an implicit fifty dollar gift or because I felt like I was working you...
Dudes wanted
R U a phiLOLZophy ‘fan’?
do you ‘get’ phiLOLZOPHY?
Do u have a penis?
put ur junk in our ask box….details to come.
Pros and Cons of Giving a Shit About what People...
Pros:
Things you write are generally are well-received
Feel ‘self-esteem burst’ vs. ‘pangs of anxiety’ when you check your dashboard
Find ways to pander to audience, get maximum reblogs
Sense of self-worth is tied to something you actually have control over vs. other non-manageable facts like ‘physical appearance’
Philosophically justify to yourself that...
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On Using The R-Word
Yesterday I wrote a post claiming that a guy who doesn’t want to date me must be a retarded person. The word seemed to fit. I wanted to convey that such a person would have diminished mental capacity such that they could not understand the cost benefit analysis of being my boyfriend weighs heavily to one side. Since that math is pretty easy, the IQ of the person not able to make the...
A Non-Exhaustive List of Things I Don't Understand...
You Want Sex, Right? This seems to be the predominate cultural stereotype of men. They want sex. It’s the glue that holds the whole gender together. At least that’s what they tell you. In real life, it seems like guys are more interested in video games, or being dumb or weird or something. Like, you can give it away for free and a guy won’t want to bother because its work or...
Take the Twitter Challenge
Here is a fun game you can play because it is Friday night and you are bored. It doesn’t have any upshot or message at the end but it is interesting to think about. Fill out the following form, share with friends, LOL about it.
My answers after the jump.
Twitter name:
Number of people you follow on Twitter:
Number of people who follow you on Twitter:
Number of the people you follow who...
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The Pros and Cons of Dating This Guy I Just Met on...
Pros:
Will buy me things.
Will get to play with his dogs.
Bangin body I get to stare at for a few hours.
We can meet up with my friends and have one of ‘those nights.’
Maybe he can do that dirty dancing thing with his arms.
He has a really weird name and I love saying weird names.
Maybe he is ‘the one.’
Maybe he is ‘the one that will buy me some...