December 2010
38 posts
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Internal Memo: Christian Lorentzen
What is the point at which existential nihilism collapses on itself? When does the abyss stare back? I’m sitting in my boxers at the desk in my bedroom this morning refreshing Twitter to see if @tao_lin said anything since I last checked. He did. “While staring at different areas of [30’ x 80’ section of a ‘food court’] became fixated on ‘refining’ the...
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Moratorium on Diplo Bashing
Big frowny face, guys. Honestly one of the most fulfilling parts of my internet existence was consuming/digesting Diplo’s digital ‘offerings’ so I could shit them out for the lolz. I mean, it writes itself, you know?
But then he actually sent me the sticker. Actually, 48 of them. And five CDs. God damn it. Honestly feel like I can’t make fun of him any more cuz that...
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'LOL'
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Life Cycle of an Internet Friend
Stage 1: I discover your internet presence. My interest is piqued. I briefly glance at your ‘history,’ like maybe I go back one page on your blog or I click ‘more’ at the bottom of your Twitter page one time. I try to figure out your ‘story’; if you are a teen, if you went to college, if you are intelligent, if you say anti-feminist things, if you are...
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Are Tao Lin and Megan Boyle the alt version of the...
Been seeing a lot of legit bros giving cred to Tao Lin and Megan Boyle lately. Wondering if we are really doing this now?
Tao Lin seemed innocuous enough at first. Kind of cute, has a really unique/relevant writing style, embodies lots of things I like about the 2k10 generation like inviting people to gChat with him, stalking Gawker until they notice him, and generally being a transparent...
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How Famous Philosophers Would Tell The Christmas...
St. Anselm On this day that which nothing greater can be conceived of was born, because that which is born into reality is greater than the greatest thing that can be conceived of that has not been born.
St. Thomas Aquinas God was born to some lady. Here I summarized it in this 15,000 page book, Summa Nativity.
Bertrand Russell Why I am not a Christian: a virgin gives birth to a baby, and...
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10 Most Nonsensical Pop Tunes of 2010
Don’t get me wrong, I love pop music. Top 40 is the soundtrack to my commute 95% of the time. Like my penchant for reality TV, I am not above or embarrassed by admitting that I love me some stupid pop tunes. That being said, some pop tunes are way more stupid than others. Like inexcusably stupid.
So I’ve compiled them for you; here they are, in no particular order: the 10 most...
“Hello Mr. Boyle, I’m Tao Lin, a famous writer for alt people. I manage my own...”
– (via beachsloth)
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File This Under 'Times My Life Gets Put In...
Was just minding my business in my own little world, letting my friends/acquaintances/random internet marketers know what’s up with me 140 characters at a time when I glanced at my Twitter newsfeed and noticed this (this is us, by the way, I’m on top):
See also: ‘Times I’m Confronted With My Self-Absorbtion’
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Is 'You're Just Jealous' a Good Argument?
“Just jealous” is a critique I use a lot. Mostly because I think jealousy is a very powerful motivator and it’s at the root of a lot of things I hate. It’s why people hate Gen Y, why people root for the rich and famous to fail, and why some people spend their whole lives making others miserable. And it’s not just me and Regina George hanging out, bein’...
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I sign up for CatholicMatch.com, have an...
This is the church we go to:
It’s not as scary as it looks except for this statue of Saint Bartholomew where he is holding his skinned corpse:
Anyway, every time we go to mass there are tons of hot Catholic bros all by themselves. The place is literally crawling. But the question is, are they single? How will I ever find out? By signing up for CatholicMatch.com, obvi.
So I did,...
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What's Your Problem?
Got an ethical dilemma? Need some advice? Let phiLOLZophy give you an assist. An eth-assist. (Get it?! Omg.)
We’re collecting real life ethical dilemmas. We’ll tell you why in a lil bit, but for now pretty pleasies fill up our Ask box with all your dramz. Or if it’s mega embarrassing you can drop an anon ethicsbomb on our asses via Formspring. Or if it’s awfully...
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What is cold, newsless, and a continual athletic...
Seems like Minnesota has been in the national news a lot (which is a rarity, as all non-MN folks know) (oh my god I said ‘folks’, yes, I’m that midwestern) for one embarrassing Vikings-related incident after another.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock you’ll know that our quarterback sexted a bunch of pics of his weird looking peen (not even going to link you,...
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Julian Assange: Messiah Complex or ...Messiah?
Omg. Was reading the news this morning and the following headline caught my eye: Julian Assange: ‘His philosophy keeps evolving.’ ‘Oh really,’ I thought. So I read on.
What I discovered was both hilarious and shocking for the same reason. Turns out just about everything that was said about ‘the philosophy of Julian Assange’ could also be said of…...
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Critical Thinking Re: Meme Blogs
Backstory: Lolz Doll 1 is thinking about starting a supplementary memeblog composed entirely of pictures of unhappy cats, based in large part on situational memories of Lolz Doll 2’s miserable, whiny, self-mutilating cat.
Other background info: ilovecharts is a blog of, well, charts created by people who think hitting the reblog button…
…overrides the supply/demand...
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howtolistentomusic →
howtolistentomusic:
partel2:
sciencevsromance:
maura:
above: howtolistentomusic gives a second-by-second critique of Justin Bieber’s “Baby.” (…)
Most of the music criticism I read is 60% psychological and 40% reader-response, with sprinkles of sociology and shop talk (a crackpot formula which doesn’t account for the greatness or lameness of said criticism). So I was curious to try...
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ATTN Tumblr Fashion Blog(gers) and/or Our...
911 help re: New Year’s Eve outfit
Scouring the interwebz for the following dress: - long sleeve - mid-thigh (like, you know, I could wear it to work with tights after I’ve dry-cleaned the champagne and semen out of it, jk about the semen, kind of) - scoop neck = cleavage (but the long sleeves make it not totally whorish; are you getting a mental picture yet?) - black
THIS IS AN...
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An Elegy For Hipster Runoff: If You Generate a...
This is Carles. He created the viral memehouse blog Hipster Runoff.
Hipster Runoff is a blog that discusses relevant topics for ~15-25 year old first world internet users: indie bands, alternative celebs, and [mostly] new and hilarious ways to talk about exactly why both mainstream and alternative trends are self-serving, shallow, and transparent.
Carles accomplished this via a thinly-veiled...
A dispute over the existence of God between four... →
aatombomb:
hiredgoons:
very surprised this hasn’t happened to me yet…
A quintessentially Russian tragedy.
Really want to add ‘this is how I will die’ but my dispute will probably be about, like, the unfair elimination of one of the contestants on The Bachelorette.
Subtitle: really brings new life to the word ‘buzzkill.’
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Earnestly wondering whether our Tumblr followers...
Which you would think would be a given but believe it or not about 20 to 60 percent of written communication from this dude is indecipherable.
Okay so I’m kidding about the recurring feature thing but seriously, you guys, I can’t get over how dumb he is. Still don’t believe me? The other night when I was bored/drunk I e-mailed him. Really.
Here’s how it went down:...
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Paris Hilton is probably happy, you are probably...
Was browsing the interwebz re: our philosophical muse and I came across this post entitled ‘Could Paris Hilton Ever Be Happy?’ on the Experimental Philosophy blog.
According to its bio, Experimental Philosophy is “a new movement in philosophy which uses the collection of empirical data to shed light on philosophical issues.” Immediately clocked in at moderate to high...
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snOMG
(photo via diddles)
Minneapolis is buried in 12+ inches of snow. So I’m stuck inside and re-reading one of my fave books, Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. I’ve unfrozen my fingers long enough to leave you with my favorite passage:
It may be important for great thinkers to examine the word, to explain and despise it. But I think it is only important to love the world, not to despise...
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Things that will probably die in my drafts.
1. The time we met Adrian Peterson at a sushi bar and he told us he hated sushi.
He was surrounded by an entourage of really well-dressed, nervous-looking Asian guys who pretended to be extremely interested in their smart phones as a way to avoid having to talk to three loud, drunk girls. That’s about all I have to say about that. 2. 9/11 victory mosque.
‘The terrorists have truly...
littleorphanammo asked: I am lolzing all over your tumblr .
I enjoy the crying jimmy image. Also enjoying stupid diplo (guy is as clever as a pine nut) and the 'jounalist' 'audra' who 'writes' 'articles' like they are 'book reports'.
you are always invited to my flaming jesus parties but bring your own fourloko, slut.
I enjoy the crying jimmy image. Also enjoying stupid diplo (guy is as clever as a pine nut) and the 'jounalist' 'audra' who 'writes' 'articles' like they are 'book reports'.
you are always invited to my flaming jesus parties but bring your own fourloko, slut.
Anonymous asked: Your blog is retarded.
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Paris Hilton: the Godfather of PhiLOLZophy
This is Paris Hilton. She’s probably best known as a reality star, failed pop musician, and semi-professional outlaw. But this is only one side of one of the greatest intellectual treasures of the 2k10 generation.
Stupid people, like Hilton is reputed to be, are fun. Who doesn’t love driving in the summer with the windows down blasting ‘Stars are Blind?’ But after...
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In Defense of Sarah Palin, or Whatever.
The jig is up, you have to know now that this blog is based in Minneapolis. Why is this relevant? Because I’m eating some venison sticks made from a deer my dad shot while reading the viral opinion piece writer Aaron Sorkin wrote for HuffPo and getting kind of annoyed at his logic/defensive about hunting, actually.
I eat meat, chicken and fish, have shoes and furniture made of leather,...
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This is an open invitation for a Republican to...
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“That nobody is really a skeptic- even while philosophizing- becomes clear if you...”
– The Overexamined Live is Not Worth Living, David Shatz
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Philosophy Trivia: Robot Apocalypse Edition
Robot advances are made everyday, hurling us closer and closer to the robot apocalypse coming in the very near future. To demonstrate how close we are, I’ve listed some advancements the robots have made. Try to determine if they are based in fact or [science] fiction. Try not to shit yourself. Answers in the links.
Scientists teach robots to socialize, teach ‘lessons’ to...
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Top 10 things I want to do to Diplo
Diplo is so, so dumb. If you don’t believe me, read this. When I look into his (gorgeous) eyes I usually feel like I am looking into the eyes of an animal, like nothing is looking back at me.
Honestly torn between being extremely, extremely sexually attracted to him and just thinking he’s totally cute but like in the way that Bambi or Snoopy is cute. Worried it’s wrong to...
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This is the most brilliant woman in the UK.
No, not Kate Middleton. The broad on the left, ‘Kate Bevan’, who told the Daily Mail that she’s quitting her job as a pharmaceutical assistant to pursue a career as a professional Kate Middleton lookalike. Apparently the first item on her business plan is ‘hire vocal coach so I lose my low-class accent.’ Okay?
Feels like just about anyone could impersonate the...
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Postcript on Plato and The Republic:
nerdshares:
I remember reading it in college and thinking “Wow. Awesome,” because that’s what you think when you’re an 18-year-old nerd. Now my attitude is more “We get it, Socrates is a fucking genius and he wins every argument. HE MUST BE A HIT AT PARTIES.”
My favorite thing is when he cuts everyone else’s arguments up, he makes up more people, to win hypothetical arguments.
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Facebook Expands H8red of Privacy Beyond Facebook
Facebook employee Julie Zhuo wrote an op-ed in yesterday’s NYT claiming that everyone on the internet should abolish anonymous commenting.
Instead of waiting around for human nature to change, let’s start to rein in bad behavior by promoting accountability. Content providers, stop allowing anonymous comments. Moderate your comments and forums. Look into using comment services to improve...